The 12 Steps of ‘Copter Parent Detox … 

  1. We admit that we are powerless over our urge to hover over our children with constant intervention and attention, making both of our lives unmanageable.
  2. We believe that strengths beyond our current awareness (or an outside influence) must be relied upon to restore us to sanity in parenting our children, in-law children and grandchildren.
  3. We make a decision to turn to fellow recovering helicopter parents, and ‘CopterDetox, for help in permanently grounding our hovercraft.
  4. We make a searching and fearless inventory of the situations in which we are most likely to hover.
  5. We admit to our friends and children the nature of our hovering and ask our friends and fellow parents to help us avoid those situations.
  6. We are ready to accept the help they give.
  7. We humbly ask them to help us land our helicopter and toss the keys.
  8. We make a list of occasions when our hovering caused harm to our children and others.
  9. We speak honestly with our children about our past flights, make amends, and ask for forgiveness.
  10. We continue to examine the ways in which we hover, and where we find shortcomings, we admit it.
  11. We appreciate our children, in-law children, and grandchildren for their unique gifts, which shine without our intervention.
  12. We carry forward the message of ‘CopterDetox and pledge to help other hovering parents, so their children, too, shall live free of the blade’s shadow.

I thought I wasn’t a helicopter parent, but I admit that I am sometimes powerless over my urge to help my children, my in-law children and my future grandchildren.

Let us all begin at the beginning … My name is Becky B and I’m a helicopter parent.


*The ‘CopterDetox 12-step program is an adaptation of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-Step program, source Realistic Recovery.